138 Hilarius excuses for church dropouts: Why did you stop going to church?

138 Hilarius excuses for church dropouts: Why did you stop going to church?

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138 Hilarius excuses of church dropouts: Why did you stop going to church? 
Why did you stop going to church?

Here are 138 hilarious excuses for church dropouts. Why did you stop going to church? That is a very critical question each one of us should ask ourselves.

Also Read: Power of Prayer-Learn the advantages of praying

  1. That we contribute money for our pastor to buy a car, but when I ask them to contribute money for me to pay house rent, they say I should pray to God and He will bless me with lots of cash.
  2. A pastor conned me.
  3. My dad died and we were told to pay his tithe for the whole year before the burial.
  4. I confessed my sins and the pastor laughed at me.
  5. Our Pastor moved from an iron-sheets house to a three-bedroom own compound house and I decided to stop going to church.
  6. The drama in the church is a No! a lot of fundraising and being forced to make pledges and see who contributes what when I can comfortably praise my God in my house. Also Read: 6 Ways to Read and Understand the Bible
  7. The pastor was trapped by microphone cable, when she fell I heard her curse ‘F**k’
  8. My Pastor was all over me, yet he is married, when you refuse, he curses you and blocks all your blessings.
  9. When he eats the contribution, he says we shouldn’t ask why! ‘when we complain it’s like you are asking back for the money you gave God and you will be punished, huh.
  10. Got tired of hypocrisy and slavery. I want to live a straight life no double life.
  11. Was appointed the choirmaster on the very first day! It marked the beginning and the end!
  12. They wanted to kill me.
  13. I hate hypocrisy and I got broke and contributed 30dollars in fundraising, elders complained why I gave little amount and that is what I truly had. I decided to go and find a lot of cash then will go back maybe.
  14. I realized during covid peak churches were closed to save lives. They aren’t important after all.
  15. The pastor used to hate me when I joined Sunday School, every bad example was towards me, from that time I never liked church.
  16. I went to some church with an iPad, they told me “have you come to church or studio?” Lord have mercy on me.
  17. The day I realized I go to see my pastor work.
  18. Our Pastor is a gossiper, when you give offerings and tithes he tells everyone in the church how much you gave.
  19. Living a double life made me drop out of the church.
  20. When the pastor said “no one resembles Jesus Christ” and yet he said we were created in the likeness of God.
  21. I got a Reverend in my inbox, he confesses absolute love for me, I keep on asking him why? And he is married with three kids.
  22. No place in the Bible says the church will take someone to heaven.
  23. I just found myself not going to church, I got bored.
  24. Instead of sinning in church let me kneel in my house and pray to my God, when I feel, I will search and join an online service and get a word to keep me going. These buildings called churches today have turned into markets, platforms for adultery, prostitution, fighting for leadership, people are stealing in the name of the Lord. God, I just ask that you save this world before we see the worst.
  25. Because he could have easily killed satan but he chooses his son, he must have a problem, let me stick to spirituality, makes a little sense.
  26. All men of God I met had to approach me for love, this made me feel like a devil’s agent to destroy pastors, so I decided to stay at home and watch them from TV, I don’t want temptations.
  27. I love worship more than preaching, I have a strong belief that good praise and worship get me there, let’s just say I have done a lot of window shopping and I haven’t found the church that took me there in terms of worship. So I brought the church to my house.
  28. I realized that Adam had another wife called Lilith before Eve and I was never told, they cheated us and we believed.
  29. Chairlady and some women in the church were into my personal life beyond boundaries!
  30. The pastor decided to shout at me in the mid of service in front of my wife, house girl, my son, and most beautiful ladies because my phone rang. It hurt me to the core, to an extend I wanted to give him a blow, but I matched out and found myself holding a bottle of beer and got married to alcohol.
  31. I saw my Bishop smoking, I and church divorced like that.
  32. We went for a one-week seminar, the next morning I decided to serve people breakfast after I was done I went to serve myself and realized everything was done, after that seminar I stopped going to church, pray for me so that I can go back.
  33. The pastor told the congregation where he saw me over the weekdays.
  34. How does a priest start preaching about my hairstyle yet am sitting in the front raw? I will never go there again.
  35. During the offering, my pastor started with a basket 1k, 500, 200, then 100, after he said those with coins you can bring them now, imagine that it was my first day in that church and had been invited by a friend, I even decided not to give my coins. Also Read: The Influence of Materialism
  36. I discovered it was cult and too much child sex abuse and cover-ups, smooth operation exit was needed.
  37. Let me not refer to these buildings like churches, even some priests know they are business enterprises. Those are enterprises in short. Worshipping God is only found in your heart, everything else is a scam.
  38. I discovered the father(priest) was seducing my girlfriend. Since then I automatically got engaged with alcohol, private prayers evening & morning.
  39. My crush got married.
  40. When the pastor said he needs to drive a car worth 5million. He gave us his account number, his followers to send cash.
  41. Being told am going to heaven and there is nothing like that.
  42. Every Sunday was a fundraising Sunday. You just hear, today we are contributing money for our pastor’s transport to headquarters, for pastors wife transport from the countryside to town, pastors child has a wedding, niece to pastor did not perform well in exams and she is full of stress contribute and you will be blessed, after that experience, I decided to stay in my house, and I have my peace. 
  43. I realized it’s a gathering of judgemental people who point fingers at others for sinning differently.
  44. Fundraising every Sunday and preaching took 10 minutes but 4 hours of fundraising and paying for the altars.
  45. pastor asking me to dress on official yet am not used to such, I saw it’s better to remain at home with my jeans and T-shirt. I do not understand how my dressing affected the normal running of the church service.
  46. I realized that my coins which I give as offering its boring to my priest, and that’s what I can afford.
  47. I gave up on church but not God. Also Read: True Education Vs False Education
  48. I used to wake up very early on church day so that I can connect PA system, one day I got sick I could not go to church they hired a technician the following Sunday,  I was told am irresponsible and should not touch the systems, I said okay and became a normal churchgoer after three Sundays pastor gave me a card to be one of the special guests for his fundraising for buying him a new car. since that day I and alcohol, we are friends.
  49. My Pastor told me that I cannot marry his daughter because I don’t have a car for going shopping.
  50. Our church usher pulled and pushed me to occupy the front sits by force.
  51. After I realized I can pray in my house, the church is my heart.
  52. I wanted to join a youth group and was asked to pay 15k
  53. Women in the church also said in secret that I wanted to take their husbands, when you visit the pastor’s office being told I want to tempt my pastor and they judge me always on my dress code.
  54. They never preach anything new. All they preach I already know, from my Sunday school times to high school. It’s the same bible they keep on repeating. I Pray and read my Bible at home and open my heart to God directly.
  55. The pastor said if you walk out of the door before he finished collecting tithe and offering never come back to that church again. Also Read: 10 Signs that Jesus Christ will return soon
  56. I found myself having a debt of 6k, knowing very well I do not owe any human being, I left the church
  57. I went to the church that my boyfriend went to worship, then came the time for announcements, imagine these people read through the names of people who contributed offering the previous Sunday, I heard Mike 5, Judith 30, Purity 15, Frank 800, Sospiter 1600. The pastor said do not read the names of those who contributed a lot, just read those who gave little so that they can know themselves. Oh my, I left the church plus my boyfriend
  58. After observing how people who go to church treat others.
  59. There was this hot priest, the whole time I was admiring his pink lips, I just see my things, I could not pray in that church. 
  60. The level of hypocrisy is astonishing.
  61. Too much offering.
  62. For me, I don’t go to church after my pastor told me that God has shown him that I am his wife. 
  63. When Church changed its Primary role to Business Enterprise.
  64. When my pastor left his wife and married another lady with two grown-up girls.
  65. I was chased away from the church. Also Read: What Parents should know about Campus Life
  66. I was excommunicated for being a fight defender
  67. I love going to church but these things make me not, a fake man of Gods, book of revelation warned us about, money gospel more than the gospel of life. When I realized God lives in me and if I call he can answer in my home, church politics. After seeing people who go to church with high ranks can do to other people.
  68. There is lots of hatred in church and pretense and dirty lives but they are always in church.
  69. You should write your name on the offering envelop and the amount, yet the bible says, even your right hand should not know what the left has given.
  70. When I realized that missionaries carried a Bible and a gun.
  71. When I realized Jesus and the bible came from Roman and Greek and we had our God way before our colonials.
  72. I was tired of being called a sheep of Jesus, I am not a sheep, please.
  73. After seeing a church member praying while shouting “f**k satan!” I left without looking back. This was too much for prayers
  74. My child always cries in church and this bothers me a lot, but even back in high school I was always forced to go to church, I guess some of us church is not for us.
  75. When I realized that we had our own God that our forefathers were forced to abandon and embrace another middle East God by force. Through the use of a gun.
  76. My boss was also a reverend and whenever she would come to the office she would call me all sorts of nonsense and at the church altar she speaks in tongues, I stopped going to church and resigned from her job.
  77. The song, ” wash me to be as white as snow” I thought about it, what’s wrong with my brown skin.
  78. How can my pastor tell me, he wants to take me out yet he’s married?
  79. Our church was located near the petrol station, our pastor used to say “fire! fire! fire! I thought one day Saturn may get angry and petrol to explode. Also Read: Living Within Your Means  
  80. People being fake in church, weekdays they do all thrash then on worship day they become saints, they emphasize extreme hypocrisy. I rather stay at home and watch sermons on TV.
  81. I stopped going to church when I got to know that I’ll still go to hell on admiring praise and worship ladies with short tight dresses and lots of make-up in Church.
  82. I was told to close my business and go for rehearsals, to be honest, I felt like slapping someone because they won’t pay for my bills, food, etc and still they want me to contribute to church projects. 
  83. Grandfather was preaching using me as an example from mistakes I was doing at home, hated him with the church.
  84. Every Sunday we were given 7 envelopes for the contribution of harvesting blessings, tithe, offering, thanksgiving, support of the ministry, rent, church building. In short the money, you being asked to give is beyond imagination.
  85. When I started giving tithe and offering faithfully in the church, some elders started saying I joined a cult. I gave up!
  86. Planting seeds that never grow, pastor say give offering and God will bless you with what you want and it never happens.
  87. I used to pay my tithe religiously and it came a time when kids were being baptized, I was told he can’t be baptized because I am a single mother. I wondered why take a single mother’s tithe then? 10 years later I am back in the same church with a husband.
  88. My elder was a witch. Also Read: Saying No to Debt
  89. My Pastor is very selfish, she always becomes harsh when people are being served food in church, complaining that those who do not come every Sunday should not eat.
  90. Witches sitting in front of the church.
  91. When our pastor won a car in a beer promotion competition.
  92. My Pastor has a shop where he sells cigarettes yet in the church he preaches about how bad cigarettes are.
  93. Church stopped preaching of virtues but on money, it’s always this money, that money, this project that project, I stopped.
  94. Where should I start, let’s start from knowing most of the pastors are doing it as a job/career and not what I knew as a kid.
  95. My pastor said no to me when I was going for a cup of wine.
  96. Covid 19.
  97. Church wrangles, where the church was divided into two and did not know which group to join.
  98. After realizing and giving offerings and my pastor is wasting the money with a known prostitute. Not me!
  99. I met my pastor in lodging at 4:00 am morning with a towel. He had slept with one of the church members. He gave me some cash not to say a word.  That was the end of my going to church, 5 years now.
  100. When the pastor won a motorbike in a beer promotion.
  101. They changed the wifi password
  102. When some started acting like deputy Jesus.
  103. After realizing that going to church is just but a show-off, what matters is the pureness of the heart and the inner relationship with God, it not about dressing well, expensive clothes, and making the loudest noise in church. 
  104. No one in the Bible had a Bible.
  105. Youth leaders and church leaders loaning the money we contributed then they never pay.
  106. Youths coming there for coupling, after getting partners they quit to other churches. 
  107. The church never growing.
  108. Pastor says ‘we are created in the image of God, church choir sings ‘there is no one who resembles him, I hate confusion.
  109. I always wake up every church day, prepare myself as fast as I could, going to church I find the service has already begun.
  110. We finished the Bible syllabus
  111. Our Pastor said he will read for us pauls letter to the Romans, I was not happy, why is he reading other people’s letters in public.
  112. After I impregnated 12 girls in the same church.
  113. After realizing hypocrites, witches, murderers, fornicators, adulterers, pretenders, husband and wife snatchers, etc meet in those buildings to condemn other people to make them guilty and make it easier to steal that week hard-earned cash.
  114. I couldn’t sit and get preached to by a preacher who is all over my inboxes demanding sexual affair and he clearly knows am married and he is married too.
  115. I dreamed of smoking bhang with my pastor and realized he is a gangster.
  116. I stopped when I got a baby. I could not listen to the word, the baby cried always.
  117. I have no money.
  118. After spotting my ex-girlfriend going there and she aborted my kid.
  119. They keep on preaching about money until they give certificates for contribution.
  120. They said because I am a lady, I should not play piano in trousers.
  121. Church elders fighting inside the church over the leadership positions.
  122. My village witches all attended our local church, making them hinder my blessings. It’s been 14years with no regrets. The church is my heart. All that matters to me is my relationship with God.
  123. My mum passed away and was told to clear her pledges before they accept to bury her, since that day I have never stepped into a church. She had pledged 10 bags of cement, 20 chairs, and curtains for the windows.
  124. When I discovered the God in the Bible does the most killings than satan.
  125. I got tired of waiting, other churches have reached the book of Revelations, and our church we are still in Exodus. What if Jesus comes back and finds the syllabus not completed?
  126. Father slept with my cousin’s wife, I didn’t want him to preach for me anymore.
  127. Gospel of prosperity only!
  128. I was late for church, the pastor said, “this is not a market that you can come at a time you wish”, it’s a market because I take money every Sunday to them. But I guess he was angry because I refused them to visit my place, I just had to find another market.
  129. We finished the syllabus. Waiting for the second edition of the bible or another testament.
  130. My church wedding failed.
  131. I stopped after Pastor and I ate the money for church construction. He was my lover. 
  132. When I discovered that I can actually pray in my house and God can still answer my prayers. Discovered this during lockdown when churches were shut.
  133. I realized the God I was seeking was within me.
  134. I normally go! but only on new Year’s eve. These people are in business, imagine during lockdown they even call to remind you to pay tithe, they claim it’s a debt and I must pay!
  135. Our pastor had the habit of eating his own sheep.
  136. I never go to church because when I was young, my parent forced me to go to church.
  137. I don’t go to church because I am not a religious person, but christ-like, so I can pray on my own without attaching myself to any religion.
  138. Our Pastor said he can not walk yet other pastors are driving, so we were to buy him a car and build him a good house like that of other pastors.
  • After reading the above excuses you realize people go to church for no good reason. You are supposed to go to church for the worship of God. There is no reason greater than the death of Christ. Don’t console yourselves, go to church and worship our creator.
  • Satan is real, we should go to church for our own good.
  • God won’t be listening to your complaints, it would be a yes or no to heaven.
  • Is there a problem when your pastor drives a five million car? I don’t think so. An investment in your spiritual mentor is not a loss. Everything we possess belongs to God, people spend millions on witchdoctors but giving your pastor its pain and wastage. Crazy world!
  • Don’t go to church for formality, or as a last resort, go to church based on your faith and for a purpose. Most of these churches are full of hypocrites of the highest order, even some preachers are more sinners than the attendees.
  • The Bible says we should not forsake the gathering of brethren
  • Folks say the Church is full of hypocrites and that’s why they quit going. Your job is full of hypocrites, yet you are still there and show up 40 hours a week!
  • If nothing can stop me from going to work, then nothing should stop me from going to church irrespective.
  • It’s like Pastors are making people go or not go to church and not the relationship with God, please go. The Father’s hands are always open wide. He is waiting to embrace you. Just go as you are, His love is unconditional.
  • The church is you. Don’t go to church because of others. Play your part to make the church better.
  • But God didn’t kill people, people killed people. God destroyed those places that sinned beyond measure, He is a father, therefore discipline is paramount. What the devil does is prepare you for eternal damnation and suffering.

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