Spiced 05: Do Platonic Relationships work anymore?

Spiced 05: Do Platonic Relationships work anymore?

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“There is no way a man and a woman can just be friends”, today you will hear such statements within our social groups. It’s quite interesting how different people have different postulations on this matter. I would like to deconstruct both schools of thoughts and I would conclude with my personal opinion over the same. Platonic love is a type of love or close relationship that is non-romantic. Questions and concerns have been brought up whether a man or woman can manage such relationships without crossing the line.

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A friend said to me, ‘a man keeping a lady as a friend can be likened to rearing a small chick and swearing they won’t eat it once it matures. It’s only a matter of time before the tables are turned’. Another claimed that ‘a man who cannot keep a girl as a friend is selfish and full of bad manners’. A question will stand, in this kind of relationship, where do we draw a line so that it does not turn into a romantic affair? You know a relationship involving opposite sexes has a very thin line which when crossed it would turn out to be something else. We have seen this all over the society, just friends but going romantic and kinky.  

Anyway, let me use an analogy to explain different dispositions on the same matter. A girl will go out with the so-called ‘close friend’ and expect to spend time together having fun. Time will pass by and she gets comfortable with him and starts teasing and flirting around. This girl will confidently expect the guy to treat her as a friend after all the lingerie. When the guy asks to make out with her, she gets shocked and angry, claiming that they are just friends. The girl will vehemently tell him that he is being selfish for asking for rumpy-pumpy. 

Also Read: Spiced 04: Caught Cheating with his wife’s friend

Let me deconstruct the analogy, first when men ask for lovemaking that’s not being selfish, it’s natural, nothing wrong with it, at all. Its a natural thing designed by the creator. When they ask for it, that means you showed some signals to him, because a man will never ask a serious friend for it. A man will always grasp any opportunity presented to him. When you decide a man will be your friend then treat him the way you treat your blood brothers. There are things you cant do in front of your brother, such things don’t do them in front of a man you consider a friend. 

Some would say a man can be a friend to a woman for two reasons, only when the girl is ugly and so he uses her to hook up with her friends and when he is waiting for a chance. This makes some sense to an extent but still, a man can be a friend to a girl when some factors are held constant. A slight change to these factors that relationship would turn to something else. I think ladies should deal with reality when handling male friends and avoid being into a fantasy world. Rule number one, never show any romantic gesture to your male friend. If you do, it’s like a cow taking itself to a slaughterhouse. 

Also Read: Spiced 03: I chose wrongly! I wish it wasn’t her

On the other hand, It’s a scientific fact that there’s no way such relationships can happen without other feelings developing. It would exist for some time and at some point, the guy would release the beast. Platonic relationships are very possible today but of course, there should be respected limits when one is in such a relationship. It’s all about you to control your self when you’re with her, exercise self-discipline and respect.

We can just be friends! Okay, but does the man or girl see it that way? That would be a paramount question to ask yourself before starting a platonic relationship. A fact should be said, you can never go around smashing everybody in your life, you need that self-control and respect the friendship rules. One would say, men are the source of problems, but no because a woman decides, she got the control. Intercourse is not intercontinental that every man you are associated with has to taste the waters. Some people were created to be just friends no strings attached.

As a woman, being friends with men is always tricky, because everything would be great until they start wanting more than being friends. The problem on this occasion is men, they don’t have that same comfort as before. I would conclude by saying platonic relationships can exist only when you treat him or her as your brother or sister, the moment you bring in elements of romance you would have changed gears, and never blame anyone.

What do you think about the statement below?

The only friendship between normal coherent mature male and mature viable female is when and only the man has mated her, the man is currently mating her or the man wants or hopes he will mate her.

Anyway, that’s food for thought, what do you think?

Cheers!

Author: Mr. Jefferson

Mr. Jefferson is a well-known Author, Inexhaustible Speaker, Confident Writer, Social Analyst, and Cognitive Science Researcher. Aside from his handsomeness, down-to-earth personality coupled with boyish wit, he is a man of perseverance and tenacity. Jefferson is a vibrant man of God with a desire to see people walking in their God-given purpose. One of his passions is to empower lives and share with the world how to live a life with fullness and completeness. Follow him on social media below

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